but honestly, one of the gifts that arrived today was... um... unusual. 

You see, thediva_laments and I have registered for all sorts of things, from the somewhat expensive items in the several hundred dollar range to a lot of items in the thirty to one hundred dollar range and a wide scattering of things in the twenty dollar or less range.  Some are formal, some are funny, some are extremely practical, some are fairly whimsical.  So in theory, there should be a wide range of things to choose from when people are shopping for us for our wedding.  So when people pick random gifts, it puzzles us because why would you just buy random stuff when we went through all the trouble to set the damn thing up?  Don't get me wrong, if you know us well enough to get us something that you just know we will love, that is cool.  But I have to tell you, this plate is NOT that gift.  Not even close. 



Supposedly this plate is a very old tradition.  Well, I am a historian, with one of my specialty areas being everyday life in 19th century America, especially things like material culture, holidays, traditions, and popular culture.  I'm no Jack Larkin or Eric Sloane, but the fact that they are two of my favorite historians should give you an idea of what I am talking about.  And I have never heard of this.  So if any of my fellow historians out there know what this is about please illuminate me.  In the meantime, all I see is a weird plate that says "You Are Special Today".  Now, this could have several meanings.  One is that it is pretty straightforward, and that yes, today you are indeed special, but with the implication being that on any other day, no one really gives a shit about you.  The other possible meaning is that You Are Special Today means that you are special in a totally short bus sort of way, and that this plate is some sort of equivalent of the classic old Army Fugawee Award or that Dumbass of the Year trophy.  In that sense, I almost wish we could keep it, so that we could single out people at future events who are worthy of such recognition. 

That epic asshat of a Washington bubble-dweller, so-called political consultant Mark Penn just can't help himself.  No matter how big an asshat he has clearly demonstrated himself to be, he feels compelled to keep proving it over and over like some sort of short-term memory dickweed by dispensing more epically bad advice to anyone stupid enough to listen.  So naturally, the Washington political media can't wait to get a microphone in this guy's face.  Why he doesn't just pull a Dick Morris and go join the other side so there is no doubt whatsoever is beyond me.  Maybe he thinks that he has to suck toes to do that?  No, Mark, you do not have to suck toes to switch sides in the political contest.  Besides, your advice and comments have constituted such astounding levels of suck anyway, sucking toes would just be redundant.  Your advice sucks so hard it's a miracle that light doesn't bend around you whenever you start talking.  If Halliburton could harness the sucking power of your shitty political advice, fracking would no longer ever be necessary.  The next Imperial Star Destroyer built by the Empire won't have a tractor beam, it will have a Mark Penn beam.  Black holes look on with envy at your universe-shattering epic suckage.  That Dyson guy wishes he could put your political advice inside one of his vacuums.  With that kind of suck you could probably suck ink stains right out of clothes.  Yeah, that's it, go open a dry cleaning business and fix some stains, ass. 

I can't believe that Hillary Clinton still owes him money for the awesome (and by that I mean uber shitty) job he did on her campaign.  Get a refund, Madame Secretary.  He should be paying you. 

That job with the really awesome company I have been hoping to get?  The one where I have been in for multiple rounds of interviews that literally lasted hours?  Well, I didn't get it.  So far I think I am actually handling the news better than I thought I would.  But it is still kind of tough.  I had to go read ginmar's post about not apologizing again because, well, I needed it.  I suppose that the silver lining in all this is that I can probably now qualify for both the Mass Health program and possibly even food stamps. 

The only really good thing that happened recently (besides the good weekend we had) was the graduate school fair I attended yesterday.  I think I am really going to have to start working on that as a Plan B.  A lot of graduate students manage to get enough financial aid and/or campus work like a TA or RA position that I might just try that and see what happens.  At this point I really have nothing to lose.  I have some more options I am going to try as far as looking for work but I don't know what else to do at this point.  I don't know what I should do differently.  It is extremely frustrating to get contradictory advice from different career "advisers" and today I got a shining example of that, when an HR person told me to change some things on my resume.  The irony is that my resume used to be the way she suggested, and that I changed it at the behest of the last person who gave me resume advice at the Urban League Career Fair.  So apparently anything goes, or no one knows what the fuck they are talking about, or half the people you apply to work for will hate hatever the other half loves.  Whatever I guess.  At this point I feel like either I am losing my mind, or that the world is itself crazy and any attempt I make to understand it is just pissing in the wind.

The past two years of my life have not been a party, to put it mildly.  That's not to say that I have not had some wonderful things happen during that time, because I most certainly have.  But unemployment is no picnic, at least not for people who see a considerable drop in their income as a result.  I am just stunned at the amount of paperwork it involves.  And a huge chunk of that is trying to deal with all of the ins and outs of COBRA and other medical-related bureaucracies.  So far thediva_laments and I have managed to survive, but not without some cost, literally and figuratively. 

Our savings?  Gone.  Our honeymoon money? Gone.  My 401 (k)? Gone.  Now we are at the stage of having to sell possessions to make ends meet.  Currently I am working my way through a very long hiring process that has involved an hour long phone interview, a three hour in-person interview that stretched out to almost five hours, and an all-day interview that left me utterly exhausted, physically and mentally.  It is possible that this may end up with me getting a job at a really fantastic software company.  But it may not.  At this point I really don't like taking anything for granted.  Not anymore.  There is just too much that has gone wrong lately.  Getting that university job, and then losing it.  Sick pets.  Unexpected car repairs.  My father's stroke.  Sure-thing part-time jobs that ended up going nowhere.  The diva losing her full-time job, and then one of her part-time jobs.  Those two events alone sparked all sorts of subsidiary crises that we both had to deal with, and they were especially hard on her.  And now, we just found out this past Monday that my unemployment has finally run out for good.  No more extensions.  It's just gone.  It was nearly 25 months to the day since I was laid off in August 2009, and except for my 90 days or so at the university, I have been unemployed all that time.  I guess I am now officially a "99er". 

Since that time my faith in a lot of people has been sorely shaken.  One asshole in particular turned his back on 15 years of friendship with thediva_laments and proceeded to make her life living hell for most of the past 15 months before finally firing her.  We tried to get help.  We asked for it repeatedly from various people, and no help came.  No one was willing to intervene on her behalf, despite considerable evidence that he was essentially carrying out a personal vendetta.  The thing is, I gave a lot of people the benefit of the doubt.  I said to myself, surely someone will do the right thing, and stop all of this from happening.  I wanted to believe that.  And they all let me down.  No one did anything.  The sociopath was allowed to get away with whatever he wanted, and everyone else just sort of shrugged their shoulders.  And then the same thing happened at  place where I had volunteered for years and finally hoped to get a meager part-time job.  I was qualified for the job, my future boss wanted to hire me, and it seemed like a pretty straight-forward exercise.  And then I got an e-mail from some asshole I never heard of explaining to me in bullshit bureaucrat language that I did not get the job.  And when I tried to find out what had happened, I found out that the woman who wanted to hire me, who has absolutely magnificent at her job, had been there for almost 20 years, and is just a wonderful human being, had been fired from her job by her sociopathic incompetent asshole boss.  The other people in the department all had this look of utter terror on their faces when I stopped by.  They were all afraid to tell me what happened.  This is what happens when your boss rules from a position of fear.  This is what happens when a company that is supposed to be about education and helping people gets taken over by sociopaths from the corporate world.  It was as if all of the joy had been sucked out of the place.  You could see the trauma in everyone's expression.  I don't know how any real work is going to be done there anymore.  At least one of the people left to try to run the department is going to be leaving soon.  Evil incompetent boss has no idea how to run the department, and the person who did most of the actual managing she just sent out the door.  I have a terrible feeling that place is going to go downhill fast, and that is truly a tragedy of near epic proportions, at least for those of us in the Boston area. 

 And I am continuously disappointed by people who talk a lot of talk but don't walk the walk, particularly when it comes to government.  I have to say right now, my faith in our system in general has become so shaken that I honestly don't know if I will even want to participate in the next Presidential election, and believe me, that is something I never thought I would say.   And no, I do not see the parties as equals per se, but I do see both of them catering to the needs of those who need help the least rather than those who need their help the most.  In other words, neither one is helping much.  For you D&D nerds, it's a bit like this:

 Republicans these days are generally Neutral Evil, as they generally are going to take whatever position benefits them the most and fuck everyone else.  Their position on pretty much anything will change when they suddenly realize that they can benefit from the change, and principles be damned.  Sometimes laws are good (DOMA), and sometimes laws are bad (regulations on banks).  Sometimes states' rights are good  (keep Washington out of our business) and sometimes states' rights are bad (those hippies in California and Oregon can't be allowed to legalize marijuana or assisted suicide).  Sometimes the teachings of Jesus are good (He died for our sins) and sometimes the teachings are bad (all that stuff about helping poor people and that bit about camels and needles).  Sometimes science is good (we CAN make Star Wars work!) but sometimes science is bad (global warming, evolution, etc.).  Sometimes entertainers are morons who should stay out of politics (Barbara Streisand, Matt Damon, Bono), and sometimes entertainers are goddamn political geniuses (Victoria Jackson, Ted Nugent, Jon Voight).  You get the idea.  But an increasingly larger portion is Chaotic Evil, such as the Tea Party.  They will vote for policies that actually harm themselves as well as other people.  They cheer when people die, and they cheer at the prospect of people suffering.  They love wars and rumors of wars.  They believe violence is a perfectly acceptable means of solving any and all problems, and thus they care more about the Second Amendment than anything else in the Bill of Rights.  They hate pretty much everyone - ethnic minorities, religious minorities, the GLBTQ community, immigrants, foreigners, liberals, feminists, intellectuals, union workers, the poor, journalists (real ones anyway), even people in their own party who aren't Evil (or Chaotic Evil) enough.  Hell, a good portion of them are literally excited about the prospect of the End of the World and they hope it comes sooner rather than later.  What is more Chaotic Evil than that?

Democrats these days are a little more complicated.  We keep voting for them because we think they as a whole are Lawful Good and believe their big tent includes all of the other shades of Good: Neutral Good folks like Nancy Pelosi, Dennis Kucinich, Keith Olbermann, and Anthony Weiner (before he put his wang on the Internet) or Chaotic Good people like Ralph Nader, Al Sharpton, Michael Moore, and a lot of people in Hollywood.  The problem is that a lot of the party leadership has steadily moved towards a Neutral alignment and yet people still think they are all in the Good camp.  Oh really?  I think the President has made a compelling case to plant himself firmly in the Lawful Neutral camp, as have Harry Reid and a lot of other Democratic members of Congress.  If they were really still Lawful Good do you think they would have allowed Guantanamo to stay open?  Do you think that they would have remained so lukewarm on corporate reform after all of the economic shenanigans and debacles of the last decade?  Do you think they would remain so wishy-washy on the outright destructive policies of their Evil counterparts in the GOP?  Hell no.  They would be wading into those mofos in righteous anger like a Paladin in a cemetery full of undead.  And yet they aren't.  Actions speak louder than words, people. 

We have become a country that is a republic in name only.  Most of the people in government care only about who can contribute campaign money, especially people who can contribute a LOT of campaign money. and everyone else should just smile and wave and otherwise leave them alone.  Ordinary people like us?  We just don't matter.  Unemployed people, people who live in poverty or are rapidly heading into it, and the rapidly shrinking middle class, we just don't matter that much.  We are invisible.  What goddamn difference does it make whether I vote anymore?  My choices are being narrowed down to either a party of assholes who blatantly only give a shit about rich people, and a party who consistently caves in to the rich people party while talking about the need for "compromise" a lot, and who by the way also seems to cater largely to the interests of people with lots of money.  If you take a position that is already leaning way towards the other party's world view, and the other party's world view is increasingly far to the right, meeting them half way essentially means that you are moving yourself farther and farther to the right.  Soon the Democratic party might as well change their name to the GOP Lite, or maybe even the GOP Half-Assed Auxiliary.  The Republicans are handing us a shit sandwich, and telling us that we better enjoy it, because the next one is going to have a lot less bread.  The Democrats are responding by saying "That's terrible!  I can't believe they are making you eat that!" and then handing us the same shit sandwich with mayo and an olive stuck on top, insisting that THEIR version of the shit sandwich is SO much better.  Bill Hicks had it right.  We all want to pretend otherwise, but more than ever both parties are sock puppets of the super-wealthy,  They are the ones who are really running the country.  Naturally, they are going to run it for their benefit, and anyone who complains is just a pinko commie firebagger who hates capitalism and therefore America.  Yes, I know the President recently started acting like he gives a shit about creating jobs.  But I don't expect it to last.  I expect the other side to dig in its heels, and I expect the President and his party to start giving in to their demands, just like they always do.  I would love to be proved wrong, but I just don't see it happening.  I am trying so hard to not be cynical, but it has become so much more difficult for me. 

It has been a hell of a month.  A hell of a summer, really, all around.  The past few weeks have been particularly hard to deal with.  My father experienced a subdural hematoma on July 16th, and what a shock it was.  Generally speaking he is in exceptional health.  Before this happened, he was jogging three times a week, plus walking.  He is very active and generally takes good care of himself.  I guess that is why he survived.  At least, that is what most of the doctors are saying.  So he has a long road to recovery ahead of him, and thank God that dad is an eternal optimist, because otherwise I don't know how he would deal with this.  As it is, my mother is having a hell of a time because she is a bit more of a pessimist, to put it mildly.  But all of us kids are doing our best to help out.  So far a lot has been accomplished, but it will be a while until my dad has had anything close to a full recovery. 
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In addition to all of my dad's issues, my beloved and betrothed  thediva_laments is going through yet another round of living hell thanks to a boss whose ego is so swollen it is a wonder that he and it can sit in the same room together.  We are doing our best to fight back, but it has been a struggle because this guy has had a free hand for much too long, and people like that who go largely unsupervised have a way of growing into monsters that no one can control.  But we have a lot of friends, and there are a lot of people who love her and are going to be very angry when they find out how she has been treated.  By God, there will be a reckoning of some sort, come hell or high water.  I will not allow this to happen to her without consequences for said shithead.  I will not stand by and allow this to be swept under a rug by people who want to pretend that everything is fine. 
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We are both still struggling to make ends meet and trying desperately to find work.  It has not been easy for us as we have already raided our savings, my 401 (k), and our honeymoon money.  Luckily we have been able to do it so far.  But we are definitely scraping the bottom of the barrel.  We can't do this much longer.  I have one good job prospect at the moment, but I don't know how long it will be before they give me any decision as to whether or not I will be hired.  There is just too much time that will probably have to pass before that happens.  So now we are making plans to start selling possessions.  I am currently going through my antique book collection trying to appraise some of the more valuable volumes (my first edition of The Song of Hiawatha by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow should go for at least $400) and I am making plans to sell other things, like my beautiful Meade ETX telescope.  I think we will probably end up creating an  eBay store of our own to sell some of this stuff.
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And now, on top of everything else, one of our beloved furry children is quite ill.  Smoky has always had a lot of health issues, particularly his thyroid, but now it looks like his thyroid is finally shitting the bed once and for all.  He no longer seems to be responding to medication.  So we are going to have to have his thyroid irradiated and that is going to cost some serious money.  Even though the cost of the procedure has actually gone down in recent years, it is still somewhere in the $1,800 range, and that is obviously money we don't have.  So we are trying to figure out where to come up with the money for that.  Thanks to our friend ginmar, a couple of fundraisers have been started on Smokey's behalf.  It is so wonderful to have such good friends, people who will stick their neck out for you and channel some goodness your way. 

Hey everyone - long time no blog.

Everything is generally going quite well.  Exceptionally well, really.  Don't get me wrong, my life is not perfect or anything but I have been generally pretty happy and life has been pretty damn good.  But I have decided that there are going to be a few changes here on LJ. 

I have decided that I am going to keep a friends-only blog.  The exception is this post, so I can give everyone a heads-up.  So if you have friended me, and I have not yet friended you, odds are it is because I am not sure if I know you.  So send me an e-mail or something identifying yourself and ask me to friend you, so I know you are in fact a real person and not a bot who will spam me.  And it will allow me to screen out the serial killers too. :P

Also, since I am no longer able to do anything on LJ at work like I used to at my old job, I am going to have to make a more dedicated effort to get on here and see how everyone is doing.  That is going to take some adjustment on my part.  So bear with me while I try to adjust and stop myself from being a total LJ slacker.  I am going to try to catch up a bit on my friends list reading as best I can. 

See you soon!